So, normally when I see an article about domestic violence, which is rare, especially one dealing with it in an Asian American community, I just bookmark it on delicious. However, this one was sent to me by a friend who works on a domestic violence hotline in New York City. She has been a long time advocate for survivors, and took a year off during undergrad to do Americorps and work in Seattle for a South Asian domestic violence survivor support agency out there. Anyway, this particular story hit home for her because it took place in her community (the South Asian community), and in her religious community (although not at her church), as well as being on the East Coast, near New York. Currently, this amazing activist and advocate is working with a local queer Asian American womyn’s organization to discuss issues of intimate partner violence in queer relationships.
The two articles are:
http://www.northjersey.com/news/BREAKING_Shots_reported_at_Clifton_church_.html
http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_7732/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=uTx5Hrc1
I think this case is really interesting for a few reasons:
One, is that it made it to national news networks, and not only because it involved multiple state jurisdictions. The second reason I wanted to talk about this incident is that it is one of those cases when community members ceased to be bystanders and took an active role in defending one member from another. I realize that the context of the assault was that it took place in a public space, and that multiple lives were threatened by the shooting incident, but I think it is a really important example of what we hope that this website can accomplish. We do not necessarily condone trying to disarm or fight off a would-be attacker, but we do hope that community members will realize the importance of standing up for one another, for recognizing a problem and taking a firm stand against domestic violence in our communities. I have often heard stories where people are aware of abuse in a relationship but ignore it or blame the person being victimized. I think that the hardest part is acknowledging that something is occuring that is not right. After that, the trouble comes in trying to address the situation.
Another aspect of this case is that it complicates some of the assumptions about Asian American communities, and South Asian communities, especially. First, this tragedy happened in an Asian community. Asians are typically portrayed as the model minority, hardworking, law-abiding. In a post-911 world, that is unfortunately and increasingly not the portrayal, because we are once again forever foreigner and/or potential terrorist. Although it is difficult to say whether one Asian American ethnicity is less likely to be demonized over another, considering the constantly shifting politics of the U.S., after 9/11 South Asians and Southeast Asians seem to be targeted by the media and homeland security more than some other groups. About the shooting in New Jersey however, one thing can be said, and that is that this situation was particularly domestic, and does not look like the terrorist scenarios that are usually played out in the media. It took place within a Christian South Asian community, which I feel hardly ever appears in the mainstream press. More often, if you hear anything about South Asian religious communities, and this is probably due to Orientalist notions of Asia and the relatively small numbers of Christian Indians as compared to other religious groups, you hear about Hindus, Muslims, and Sikhs. Considering the stigma associated with domestic violence, and the way immigrant and minority communities try to stay out of the spotlight, especially Asian Americans, and especially considering things thought to be deeply private and shameful, I was surprised to read this story, but I suppose the publicity increased because the shooter fled the scene and became a fugitive.
Another interesting point that has yet to fully play out is how the mainstream U.S. audience received these stories. Often, media portrayals of seldom-discussed minority groups leads to a stereotyping and conflation within the mainstream population of aspects of the one reported story with the entire group. In this way, the group is defined and recontextualized to identify them always with that original context of the reported story. For that reason, I feel this case is pivotal. Do you remember the case a few years back when a Hmong (Hmoob) hunter shot another hunter, or when a Korean American undergrad shot his school mates in Virginia? The Hmong were often conflated with the hunting shooting and Korean Americans felt the need to apologize on behalf of the entire community for the tragedy at Virginia Tech. I could see this media coverage potentially leading down similar lines, but I really hope not. I also want to return to the fact that both articles mention the marriage between the victim and the perpetrator was described as being “arranged.” While not an uncommon practice in various cultures, I saw this as potentially being the element that would be highlighted in the media, and I want to point out that arranged marriage does not equate to misery or abuse, which I think might not always be clear in Western minds. When discussing the topic of arranged marriages in different contexts, I often find people from the dominant U.S. culture often think it is outdated or constrains the agency of women, and cannot possibly lead to successful, happy relationships. While there are many cases in which any or all of these assumptions may actually be true to the lived experiences of the couple, there are many cases where this is not so, and I think it is important to remind people that many so-called “love matches” in the U.S. do not work out, and many such marriages may have incidents of abuse and violence occuring. Whether this tragic incident will lead to negative stereotyping, is still to be seen.
The last aspect of the case I would like to discuss is the portrayal of the suspect as having a reported “history of ‘behavioral problems,’” which I feel might be read by some as having a mental disorder. This depiction contrasts with the description given by the suspect’s father, who reportedly said his son was “‘handsome’ and ‘a nice guy.’” These two different characterizations of the shooter struck me at first as being completely diametrically opposed. However, when I considered the ways in which communities try to protect themselves and save face, I read the statements as not at odds with one another, but as strategic in their omission. So, I read the two characterizations as referring actually to the mental health of the young man. Thus, behavioral problems was coded to mean mental illness, and a since a nice guy generally would not be abusive to his wife and other family members and friends, the man must have had something wrong with him, which would also point to mental illness. So, why do I do these mental gymnastics here, that seem only to lead to conjecture? Well, the reason is, that if the informants were aware that the young man suffered from some sort of emotional disturbance or mental illness, they never actually put it in those terms. This points to some of the stigma of mental illness in immigrant communities and people of color communities. But there is another reason why I brought mental illness into the discussion. There seems to be some controversy in the domestic violence literature about mental illness. One “handbook” stated that mental illness is not an excuse for abusing others, and while on one level I agree there is no excuse for abuse, on the other, such a statement seems to say that mental illness does not play a role in creating such situations, a point with which I would have to disagree. A long way to make a single, point, I realize, but we must consider the implications for our communities. Not only must we acknowledge when violence is happening in our community, but we must also be willing to accept that mental illness may play a role in influencing cycles of domestic violence and may also result from these cycles as well.
I want to close by saying that the last update I heard from my friend about this case is that the woman who was the target of the attacks was still in critical condition in the hospital. Despite what has happened here, I think that this story is very inspiring. This woman found the strength to leave her abuser, and her community supported her and continue to do so. The attacker voluntarily turned himself in, at the urging of his father, a community member, and the victim, at last update, was still fighting, and somehow surviving. It is a tragedy that the violence that took place also took the lives of community members, and it is unfortunate that these things had to happen this way, but may we and others gain strength and insight from what we have learned here.
